21 October 2009

I believe

A little over a year ago I did a post about my belief's. I've re-evaluated a few things I believe in recently. The previous post was very light-hearted, and this one is a little more serious, but I believe a healthy list of both is exactly what a person needs.

So, I believe in...

Being a good person. I believe that this is quiet possibly one of the most important things in life, second only to family. I want to be a good person and honestly try to do so. I don't believe that just by going to church weekly or paying a full tithe automatically puts you in the "you're a good person club". I know that there are a few far better people (and I've met them) that have nothing to do with the LDS church than some of those that are heavily involved in it. But I also know that there are a few people heavily involved in the Church that are some of the most Christ-like "good people" examples I've ever met. Ever. I know that it goes both ways, so please don't anyone respond with any "The church is perfect, the people of it aren't" comments. I get it.

When I say 'be a good person' I mean I want to leave Earth knowing that I did more good things than bad. I want to know that I made a positive memorable impact in someones life, at least one. Whether this be a close friend, a co-worker, or the homeless people at Walmart I try to give cash or a meal to every once in a while. I want people to have respect for me. I suppose being a respectable person could be a belief in itself, but I'll just tie it into being a good person for now. I have recently lost this quality for a few people in my life both personally and professionally and I never want anyone to think of me the way I do them now. Especially when at one point in time I held each of them so high. SO high. They shattered it all in the blink of an eye. I've looked at the situations (the two I'm referring to) truthfully from both sides (mine and theirs), and they could have (and should have) been handled so differently. And had they been, the end result would probably be the same, but I would still be able to say that I had some level of respect (all be it small) for them as individuals. I have absolutely no respect for those involved in these two incidents anymore. None. And that is sad, because at one point I considered them to be good respectable people.

Loyalty. I believe in being loyal to the people you care about, to a cause, and above all to yourself. There are times when I know I am loyal to a fault. For example I struggle to date more than one person at a time, even casually, because I can't handle the guilt I feel while I'm out with one and not the other. I know it sounds weird, it's just the way I am, I just can't do it. I've tried it several times and maybe I am just too loyal - even in budding relationships. I was loyal to Doba for close to 4 years. I believed in the Doba dream, was on the "Doba Bus" etc. Clearly, my loyalty didn't mean a lot to the company, but it doesn't change the fact that I was.

A higher power. I don't know how much of the exact teachings of the Gospel I believe in anymore, but I do know that there is a higher power. Someone that created this stunningly beautiful planet we all live on. Someone that loves me unconditionally. Still loves me, even though I haven't been to church in over 5 years, I haven't read the scriptures in even longer, and still loves me even though I may have made some choices others may view as mistakes. There is a higher being that loves me even though I don't see those choices as mistakes by any means, but only choices I made without any regrets. This higher being knows me so well that he knows I would have regretted making any other choices than those I made. I believe there is a higher being that has a plan for each of us, and we'll each find our way. We just need to be patient and ask for help and guidance from all available resources, this higher being, our parents, our siblings, our friends, etc. Also, I know there is a higher power because I curse him daily each Nov - Apr when the cold comes and the snow falls. And even though I curse him for 6-7 months of the year he always brings me the warmth of summer. It's just a little game he and I play. :)

Love. I believe in it. Again, recent events have put a black cloud on it, but deep down I still do. I have to. I have been in love two times in my life. How lucky am I to have had that? I'm guessing that there are some people out there that have never felt that way about another person. And I've felt it for two. Unfortunately, the first time I was very young and things just didn't work out then for us, and the second time the feelings weren't reciprocated. But I felt it. And I have to believe that one day, even if it's a long way down the road, that someone will have those feelings for me. I just hope that when that time comes I have removed the walls I've recently built around my heart and just let him in. I hope that I don't fight it due to fear of relationships passed. I want to fall head over heals in love again. I have to believe it will happen again for me eventually.

Community Service. Two of my favorite projects I ever headed up at Doba were community service. This summer I coordinated a Back to School Supplies Drive where we gave a lot of supplies to a local elementary school. I am giddy just imagining the smiles on the kids faces when they each got their very own box of crayons or the few that got a backpack when they didn't have one before. You can read more about the Back To School Drive project here, and the other I arranged, Cell Phones for Soldiers drive here and here. I have been on both sides of community service, the giving and receiving end and it is a wonderful feeling. Which leads me to the last and probably most important of things I believe in right now.

Karma. The more and more I thought about things I believe or don't believe in I kept coming back to karma being the thing that I ABSOLUTELY believe in. If I didn't well, I just don't know how I would survive this current chapter of my life, I just believe in it wholeheartedly, and always have. Everything that goes around comes around. The good and the bad. One day those that I feel have wronged me, will be wronged by someone else. And I suppose in a way that makes me sound bad. Let me just say that I do not wish ill upon anyone, I just believe that karma has a way of making the rounds with everyone. And the same goes for the good. Those that do good things, will have good things returned to them as well.

So there you have it. My more serious list of beliefs. What do you believe in?


Brit O'Connor said...

Totally don't know you at all (I know Jayni- and used to work for Stores Online- so I know Doba well)- anyway, I think you are fabulous. I love how candid you are- and think your thoughts and beliefs are spot on. You seem like an amazing girl, friend, careerwoman, and everything else- keep your head up- karma will pay you back with good things eventually :)

Meagen said...

Thanks for your kind words Brit. I read a bit of your blog and I love it! I love that you have pictures to go with everything and that your husband has on a Mets shirt in one of them. Go Mets. Ha ha!

John Pender said...

I believe that you and your mother were brought into my life for a reason.
And speaking of which, I believe that every single person you interact with - that includes conversing with, seeing, or even hearing at a distance -, even people you don't even know or may have just heard of, is a part of your life and helps to shape and mold who you are.

Jc and Alissa said...

Love it Meagen! I totally agree with many of the things you wrote. The one that resonates with me the most is the being a good person. I think that is really all that matters in life, and the basis does not have to be religious.

I truly believe in karma too, even though sometimes it can be a bitch.

We really should get together sometime, I haven't seen you forever! I'll even supply the chai tea! :)

Meagen said...

John- I'm so happy that my Mom and I have had an impact in your life, I'm *hoping* it has been a positive one. It's weird because it sorta feels like I've known you forever, except I don't remember, did you come across my Mom's blog first, or mine? Lol I just feel like you're one of our close friend's that lives far away, even though we've never actually met. I love the internet for opening up new friendships. Like that reader that introduced herself with a comment on this post, Brit, I've been reading her blog and she seems like such an awesome person. But without my blog and the internet, I'd probably never know she even existed, even though I guess we worked in the same building for some time. The Internet rocks sometimes! Except when it breaks or doesn't do what I want. Ha ha.

Alissa- I miss you girl! I agree karma can be a bitch sometimes. I've had the bad come back around to me (as well as the good) and I always think, hmmm is this because I did this or said that? We do need to get together and catch up. Except I feel like I'm all caught up with everyone since I read all the girl's blogs. =)

Jc and Alissa said...

True. It's funny how you feel "in touch" with people still through blogs and facebook. I know Laci has talked about a get together. We should make it happen.

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