Best of 2009

The bright spots in 2009 were few and far between for me, but here's hoping 2010 brings many many more.

GPOYW

Oh boy. I forgot about GPOYW, and I can't take a single decent picture of myself at the moment. So you get this. The my nephew is so damn cute I could pee my pants edition!

Not Ready To Make Nice

Oh boy. Yeah, that about explains it. I'm just sayin'. Woo....

Not Ready to Make Nice

Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt

There's nothing left for me to figure out

I've paid a price

And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself

To do what it is you think I should

I know you said

Can't you just get over it??

It turned my whole world around

And I kinda like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'

It's a sad, sad story when a mother will teach her

Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter sayin' that I better

Shut up and sing or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself

To do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time

To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself

To do what it is you think I should

What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

GPOYW

The I have a date tonight so I won't have time to post this later edition. :) Yay!

Shopping List

It's a sad state when the dog's shopping list is longer than the people list.

A's to Your Q's 1.3

I've had a few more questions come from my new reader Drew Davis.

Drew asked...

1) What's your favorite comfort food?
2) What was your last concert?
3) What/who do you envy?
4) If you could switch places/lives with someone famous who would it be? How about someone not famous?
5) If you could live a movie, what would it be?

First, those are really great questions and I am happy to meet you Drew!

1) I would have to say my comfort food is ice cream. I love it. All kinds, it's just so good and I'm always reminded of good times I've had eating ice cream with friends and at ball games. Another comfort food is my Dad's pasta salad. Wow, I just love it. Its really simple to make and it tastes amazing. For the recipe to his salad and many other foods I love please visit My Recipology Blog.

2) This is a tough question. I am not a big concert attender but the last show I attended was Trans-Siberian Orchestra in 2007. They put on an amazing show. I wish I could afford to go every year and if you haven't seen it I would highly recommend it.

3) Right now, I envy those with great paying jobs, good benefits, all while working for good people. I have been out of work since the end of September, and I am going a little crazy looking for something new. The market is slim and it gets more and more frustrating as time goes on. I am looking for an administrative/executive assistant type position, maybe even office manager. I need roughly $40,000 a year annually. If anyone knows of a position, please email me and let me know the details. I am qualified and excel very well managing my time and those of others. I have a resume and cover letter ready to send and can be available for interviews any time Mon-Fri 8AM-5PM. I can start work immediately.

I also envy those that call fall asleep naturally on their own. I haven't been able to do this for a good two years. I have to take a heavy duty prescription medication nightly and its just not what I want to do long term anymore. I want to be able to lay my head on the pillow, relax, and fall asleep. But I can't. Currently, when I lay my head down a a circus goes off in my head. Commercials and songs start replaying over and over and I simply can not shut it down. It's very frustrating.

Additionally, I envy those not taking Prednisone on a regular basis. It is a wicked drug with many awful side effects. I just want my life and appearance back to what it was prior to the Prednisone. Hopefully, soon.

4)This one is really tough. Someone famous, well I think I would have to go with Marilyn Monroe, back in her prime. I would love to know what it felt like to have all men want you in one way or another. She was incredibly gorgeous and I think it would be fun to have that kind of attention if only for a day. Otherwise, I would probably switch places with someone that has decided on their path of life. They have decided what they want to be when they grow up and are in school or on the path to achieving their goal. I know of a few things that I want to do at some point in my life, for example, I want to attend Culinary Arts school. But it's not what I want to do when I grow up, I just want to be able to cook incredibly well for my future husband and possible family. I would like to switch places with someone that is not afraid to speak his/her mind. Someone who says what they mean and means what they say. I am a reserved person and sometimes it's a battle for me to express what I am really feeling or thinking.

5) Wow, this one is really tough. I love movies. Love, love, love. But I'm thinking instead of a movie I'd have to go with TV show and I'd like to live in Grey's Anatomy, Rescue Me, or Mad Men. Grey's, well I just love that show. I want to be in love with McDreamy. Rescue Me, hello?? Firemen. Everywhere. Yeah I'd like one of them too. And Mad Men, well I just love that era, I love the old school New York and the clothes and how the secretaries use typewriters. There are bars in each office and just what you did. I don't like how women are treated in the workplace though.

Anyway, thanks again for the questions, I hope I answered them to the best of my ability. If anyone has any other questions they'd like for me to answer with full honesty, just leave them in the comments section on this post or by clicking here.

Goodbye and So Long Prednisone

Well today I start tapering down on my Prednisone medication for the last time hopefully. Which means there is a good possibility my ears are going to go nuts, fill with fluid and I'm going to have a lot of pressure in my head and I'll be dizzy and grumpy for the next week or longer. I'm trying to get off of it before my appointment with the Rheumatologist on Dec 28th.

Prednisone is a steroid that can really help resolve problems in some people if they can tolerate the side effects. Generally, the medication is taken in "rounds" of 7-14 days, where you begin with a dose of 40 milligrams for four days, and then 20 milligrams for 4 days, etc, etc, until you are down to zero. I have been on it daily since the beginning of June 2009.

Prednisone and I have a major love-hate relationship. When used on a temporary basis (like listed above) it can be a wonder drug. It is designed to remove all inflammation by shrinking the excess fluid from your body and joints. So if you have knee or back pain, it should shrink all of the pain, thus making you feel a lot better. It is used for a wide variety of other reasons but it was prescribed to me to relieve the pain, pressure, vertigo, and other symptoms associated with the fluid on my inner ears. It has helped with this tremendously. However, once I finish each 'round' of the medication the symptoms return within a matter of 2-3 days and I end up in bed (or the ER) with massive headaches, feeling like my ears are going to explode and with such severe vertigo I can't get to the bathroom without passing out. I have tried other medications, but this seems to be the only thing that keeps my symptoms at bay enough for me to function on a day to day basis. However, with the long term use of this I have experienced a bout of side effects that are borderline unbearable anymore. I may have touched on these problems in previous posts here and here. But brought to you by Wikipedia here is a list of side effects associated with long term use of Prednisone and other steroids.

increased blood sugar for diabetics

weight gain

facial swelling/moon pie face

depression, mania, psychosis or other psychiatric symptoms

unusual fatigue or weakness

mental confusion / indecisiveness

blurred vision

abdominal pain

painful hips or shoulders

Long term migraines

insomnia

severe joint pain

anxiety

stomach pain or bloating

severe swelling

stretch marks

nervousness

acne

rash

increased appetite

frequent urination

diarrhea

sensitive teeth

Check. Check. Check. And check. This may be a little too much information for some of you but I have suffered from each of those lovely side effects for the last 6 months. I can't take it anymore. The weight gain, the insomnia (in addition to my already existing issue), the severe facial swelling, the night sweats, I am always hot, and shaky. UGH. I mean honestly - this is a picture of me before my first round of Prednisone and then another taken the first of November. It makes me want to cry. It's awful and depressing. My face looks like a moon pie and I won't even mention what the rest of me looks like with 40 extra lbs in 6 months.

We still do not know what the source of the problem is. I have seen general physicians, ENT's, neurologists with no improvement. I have an appointment with a rheumatologist at the end of the month. So I am hoping he will have some answers or suggestions for me. After that the next step is to call the Shae Ear Clinic in Memphis, TN and see if they could offer me some hope, maybe a consultation over the phone or anything. Who knows. I just hope that the next week detoxing from this crap isn't going to be as awful as I am anticipating and I am apologizing in advance for any bitchyness coming from me. Wish me luck in my detox efforts!

GPOYW

Clearly our attempt to recreate the Grey's Anatomy scene failed. We just look like two dead girls and a dog under a Christmas tree. Ha. Whatever.

Life- in a sentence

Dear Santa...

I'd like Jared Leto for Christmas. Oh and also the new 30 Seconds to Mars album. But mostly just him. K? Thanks, bye.

New Shelf

I needed a project so I bought this shelf and some paint from Roberts. I hung it above my desk in my bedroom. I love it and I really needed another spot for books. Everyone like? I know the little cream frame needs a picture, blah blah blah. I've had the frame out for 2 years without one. I don't plan on adding one anytime soon. I think I need to get rid of that rot red heart though. Meh.

Carmel Apple Suckers

They are my favorite, I love them. And apparently Tonka does too because he shares one with me almost daily. And he's figured out where they are in one of the night stands too, oops.

GPOYW

I had a root canal today, thus the lack of facial picture. I'm swollen. So here is the I-had-a-root-canal-so-I-bought-new-sweats-to-watch-the-new-Harry-Potter in edition. YAY!

More

I've spent the last several weeks trying to figure out what I want. In life, in love, in the future. And all I can conclude is that I want more. I want more than Doba would ever offer, I want more than Chris was ever capable of giving, I want to be bigger than I think possible. I just want more.

I want a job that I enjoy going to each day, I want to be challenged. I didn't have either of those things the last year I worked at Doba and I knew it. Part of it was on me, I think the other part was the direction of the company. There wasn't any more oomph, employees were no longer first on the list and things just changed. I didn't enjoy it any more.

I want to be with a man that makes me a priority. I want to be all they think about. I want to be needed. I want someone that pushes for our relationship to move forward. I want someone that stands up for me. I want a man that is proud to be with me, someone that shows me off, instead of dating me only when convenient for them. I want a guy that takes me someplace wearing a suit. I mean good god, I've never been anywhere where a suit and tie was dress code. That request may be small and insignificant, but I want it. I deserve more than the guys I've dated the last 3 years.

I want more from life. I want to be really happy. I want to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning again. Instead of having to give myself a pep talk just to get into the shower. I just want more, and I don't know exactly what it takes to get it, but at least I have a goal now. Improvement in itself.

Fireplace, Dr. Mario, and Living Room Sleepovers

I'm unemployed and bored out of my mind. So my sweet Dad let me borrow their Wii so I can play Dr. Mario! I was the queen freaking bee of this game back in the day, seriously. I'm not as good any more but I'm happy to have something to kill an hour here and there.

We also got our fireplace working! So we decided to sleep in the living room one night by the fire. It was way fun! You can kinda see the flames in this photo.

Fajita Tradition

Holli, Madi, and I started a tradition years ago. Whenever the Rents go out of town we (and by we I mean I) make chicken fajitas for dinner and we also buy Butterfingers. The first time we did this we ate fajitas and Butterfingers for dinner every night for an entire week. What can I say? My fajitas are just that good.

So my parents went to California to visit Madi, Brady, and KK for Thanksgiving and of course Holli and I continued the tradition and added margaritas to the mix. Yum! I love to cook.

Going Raw

Soo Holli and I are going on the Raw Food Diet. Sorta. She is going to do it pretty hard core, because she has to for her health. I live with her and it's just easier if we eat similar things, so I'll be doing portions of it too.

She went and bought a bunch of fruit and I bought the veggies. I just spent the last hour washing and dividing and cutting it all up. Look how easy breakfast, lunch, and snacks are!

Veggies: Carrots, broccoli, olives, green beans, cherry tomatoes, cucumber. Dip: Hidden Valley Green Onion dip

Fruits: Red and green apples, mandarin oranges, peaches, cantalope, bananas. I put a little lemon juice in each one as well to keep everything fresh. I didn't add the bananas, because they would go rotten too fast, but we've got those too.

The Lovely Bones

I'm so excited to see this movie! I really liked this book and lets face it, I like anything with Mark Wahlberg. He is YU-UM. In fact, I think I'll watch Three Kings now. And then maybe Shooter.

GPOYW

Ummm... Yeah. He's crazy in love with me.

The One I Love

This is my favorite song. Go to iTunes and buy it. Thanks, bye.

THE ONE I LOVE
by David Gray

Gonna close my eyes
Girl and watch you go
Running through this life darling
Like a field of snow
As the tracer glides
In its graceful arc
Send a little prayer out to ya
‘cross the falling dark
Tell the Repo man
And the stars above
That you’re the one I love
yeah

Perfect summers night
Not a wind that breathes
Just the bullets whispering gentle
amongst the new green leaves
There’s things I might have said
Only wish I could
Now I'm leaking life faster
Than I'm leaking blood

Tell the Repo man
And the stars above
That you’re the one I love
You’re the one I love
The one I love
yehee (x2)

Don’t see elysium
Don’t see no fiery hell
Just the lights up bright baby
In the bay hotel
Next wave coming in
Like an ocean roar
Won’t you take my hand darlin'
On that old dance floor

We can twist and shout
Do the turtle dove
And you’re the one I love
You’re the one I love
The one I love
yehee(x2)

Rescue Me: Baseball vs. Life

GPOYW

I found this old picture in my Shutterfly account and had to post it. This was taken in fall of 2006. Good times!

A's to your Q's 1.2

Received a few more questions from Mark.

He asked...

1)What's your favorite holiday?

2)What's the coolest place you've ever been?

3)Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts?

Great questions!

So my favorite holiday is Independence Day! I love it! My 'gratuity bucket' overflows a little more on this day each year as I celebrate how lucky I am to live with my family in such a wonderful country. The baseball games, BBQ's, fireworks, and suntans are just icing on the cake. Is there anything better? I mean really?

The coolest place I've ever been was on the warning track at Fenway Park. It was the first time I'd ever been to a major league game and it was AMAZING! I was in Boston for a conference and a co-worker at the time, Mikal, bought myself and another co-worker, Jake, tickets to see the Red Sox play. The three of us had a blast! It was Flag Day and they draped a HUGE American Flag over the Green Monster. Somehow, (I'm a little fuzzy on the exact details) Jake and I got the hookups through a partner company and so we got to be part of the crew that caught the flag and walked it back under the stadium after the National Anthem was performed. I'll never forget that experience, and I took a picture (above) of the warning track dirt on my shoe just to prove I was there!

Finally, we don't have any Dunkin' Donuts in Utah, so I'm going to have to say I prefer Starbucks. Although, my sister has been to the DD and she say's they are way better.

If there are any other questions that If you have any other questions you'd like me to answer just click here and leave them in the comments section!

The best part of housesitting for the Rents....

MY spoon.

A's to Your Q's

Yay! I'm so excited to have some response to my Q&A Post. Here are the answers to the first questions:

John Pender said...

1. Do you like me? If so, how much?

2. If I came to UTah to visit, what would we do?

3. Why don't you ever wear your hair in a simple ponytail?

4. Have you read any of my stories?

5. Can I have your iMac?

6. Can I have Tonka?

John, of course I like you! On a scale of 1-10, I think you're a 12. Aside from my family, I think you are one of my original blog followers and you always give great feedback. If you were to come to Utah for a visit, depending on the season, we'd probably spend some time at Sundance, maybe visit Temple Square, got to an Owlz game if they were in season, and if we had enough time we could go down to the Red Rocks. I wear my hair in a simple ponytail all the time. It's done that way in a couple of the photos on my sidebars. Truthfully, I have not read any of your stories. I know, I am a loser blog friend. You can have my iMac for the bargain price o $650+shipping/handling. Also, no you may not have Tonka. Even though he can be a little tool sometimes. I love him sooo much, I'll never give him up.

Andrea said...

Will you teach me how to knit so that I can make leg warmers, beanies and scarves for my step-kids? It's going to be a cheap Christmas this year and I have to cut costs wherever I can.

Andrea, I can teach you how to teach yourself to make each of those super fast! All of the knitted items you see on my blog and on Yogoz Boutique are made using Knifty Knitters. These are the best! Robert's Crafts has the best selection and you can use their 40% off coupons. They come with picture instructions and are very easy to follow. Your question has gotten me in the mood to get mine out and knit a tube scarf! Thanks!

Sell...Party of 3 said...

Have you ever been in love?

Yes, I have been in love. He was intelligent, had big dreams, made me laugh, and I was happier than I ever thought possible with him. I honestly thought we were made for one another. Unfortunately, those feelings weren't reciprocated and he ended our relationship. Since then I have discovered he was not the person I thought he was and I probably dodged a bullet. That doesn't make me feel any better though I suppose it should. Maybe I'll meet someone that makes me happy soon. I'm not looking for a marriage right now, I just want someone to have fun with, someone dependable. However, even that seems to be just out of my reach lately.

The Stanley's said...

My question - How do you deal with stress?

I usually vent to my family, they are amazing listeners! My Dad always knows how to solve the problem. My sister, Holli, usually knows what I am going to say before I even have to say it, she just knows things. My Mom can always help me see the silver lining in bad situations, and my other sister Madi is always ready to kick whoevers ass needs kicking. And if none of them are available, you can say anything to the dogs (Tonka and Marley) and they just have a way of making things better with their kisses. Also, when I get really stressed out I like to sit in the tub and read. It's nice and quiet and you can forget about things while getting lost in someone else's story. And since I have a working tub for the first time in 3 years, I retreat there any chance I get.

Thanks for the questions friends! It was fun answering them and it gave me some ideas for future posts. If anyone else has questions you'd like me to answer just click here and leave them in the comments section!

Q&A Baby!

Like many others out there, I stalk a few blogs of random people I'll most likely never meet. You know how it goes, you're reading a friend's blog and you click through to someone they link and before you know it, you've added this stranger to your Google Reader and bam! You think you know everything about them. This is great, except I often find myself with questions for these writers. For example, I recently came across a blog where this couple is selling/storing all of their possessions to go on a backpack trek. I was so curious as to what motivated them to make this huge journey and where exactly they are going that I skimmed their entire blog looking for the answers. I never did figure it out. It would have been so much easier if I had had the courage to just leave them a comment and ask, but I felt like I couldn't ask because well, I am a random blog stalker. So it makes me wonder if anyone that reads my blog has questions for me?

My friend Von, recently solved this problem on her blog by encouraging her readers to ask ANY question and she'll answer it. I was her first question asker, he he, go me go.

So I am going to do the same thing here on mine. Friends, family, stalkers, everyone, feel free to ask me any question you'd like and I will answer it. Seriously, I will answer ANY question with complete honesty. Just leave your questions in the comments section. I hope that the question askers will be brave enough to use their real names, but if you aren't comfortable with it I will still answer the questions left by Annonymous readers. Let's have em!!

PS - I am going to be really sad if no one asks me anything. :-)

New Favorite Drink

Figure.09 - Linkin Park

Nothing ever stops all these thoughts

And the pain attached to them

Sometimes I wonder why this is happening

It's like nothing I can do

Will distract me when

I think of how I shot myself in the back again

Cause from the infinite words I could say

I put all the pain you gave to me on display

But didn't realize

Instead of setting it free

I took what I hated and made it a part of me

(It never goes away)

Hearing your name

The memories come back again

I remember when it started happening

I'd see you in every thought I had and then

The thoughts slowly found words

Attached to them

And I knew as they escaped away I was

Committing myself to them

And every day I

Regret saying those things

Cause now I see

That I took what I hated and made it a part of me

(It never goes away)

And now

You've become a part of me

You'll always be right here

You've become a part of me

You'll always be my fear

I can't separate myself from

What I've done

I've given up a part of me

I've let myself become you

Get away from

Me

Gimme my space back

You gotta just

Go

Everything comes down to memories of

You

I've kept it in but now I'm letting you

Know

I've let you go

Get away from me

I've let myself become you

I've let myself become lost inside these

Thoughts of you

Giving up a part of me

I've let myself become you

GPOYW

The my feet are freezing so I'm wearing huge baseball socks edition.

Things I've never done

-Sang karaoke

-Been bowling

-Been a brunette

-Traveled out of the country (Except Ensenada, Mexico - which I don't think counts)

-Been on a true blind date

-I've never had a temple recommend

-Been skiing, snowboarding, or participated in any cold weather activity of any kind.

-Been to the top of Mt. Timpanogos

-Hiked the Y

-Had a passport

-Broken a boy's heart (that I'm aware of)

-Been horseback riding

-Used a pay phone

Movies

I have a severe case of blogger's block and boredom! I've got nothing going on so I don't really have anything to blog about. Being unemployed blows. I never know what day of the week it is, because every day is the same. It's all just a blur of watching movies, eating, and sleeping. I have watched sooo many movies and TV shows it's sad. And clearly you can tell how bored I am by the fact that I even took the time to put this post together with all the links. Yes, I actually linked each and every one of them, just in case you feel like seeing the trailers. Ugh.

Here's what I have watched since end of September:

Grey's Anatomy (Seasons 1-5)

Rescue Me (Seasons 1-5) *twice!*

Desperate Housewives (Seasons 1-5)

The Shield (Season 1)

Mad Men (Season 2)

Die Hard

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

Live Free Die Hard

Underworld

Underworld: Evolution

The Matrix

The Matrix Reloaded

The Matrix Revolutions

Taking Lives

Rounders

As Good As It Gets

3000 Miles to Graceland

Girl, Interrupted

The Diary of a Mad Black Woman

Feeling Minnesota

The Proposal

Mad Money

The Amateurs

Waiting

Smokin' Aces

Good Will Hunting

The Departed

28 Days

3:10 To Yuma

Assault on Precinct 13

Bad Boys 2

Fight Club

Big Momma's House

Boat Trip

Grumpy Old Men

Grumpier Old Men

Independence Day

Tombstone

After I look through the list it's like I watch one movie and then the next one usually has at least one of the same actors as the previous movie. It's like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon-ish!

Good Will Hunting

I love, love, love this movie!