17 August 2009

I feel weird

I feel weird. I don't know how to explain it. I think maybe I feel nothing and that feels weird. The last week or so, it's like I'm just going through the motions of life. Wake up, get ready, go to work, go to lunch, back to work, go home, eat dinner, go to bed. There is nothing going on in my life. Nothing. I do the same thing everyday. I don't have friends, I don't date anyone meaningful. I am just here. Blah.

My birthday is next month. I'll be 25. Twenty five. Twenty five was my number, I always knew for sure I would have a "life" by age 25. And by "life" I mean started a life with someone. Working toward common goals together, maybe talking about kids, living life side by side with someone. But instead, at age 25, I will have a dog. 

I've either made peace with the fact that my life is where it is. Or I'm on the brink of a mental breakdown. I don't know. Check back in a month or so. 


John Pender said...

The monotony of every day life can do this to you. It hit me when I turned thirty last year - that's why I've taken this change of pace and started writing again in hopes I can make a new career out of it.
Forget about finding Mister Right and just let it happen. You seem to harp on it too much (no offense or anything). He will come around when he comes around. If you try to rush it, you'll be unhappy for a very long time. Unless you're one of those masochistic kind of girls. :)
You should think about making some kind of change. Maybe find some kind of extracurricular activity to take part in. Find some kind of crafting club or something to join - I was very impressed with the book you made me (and still am!). You're very talented in the arts and crafts department.
Anything you've been dreaming of doing? Anything that brings you joy? Anything that makes you truly happy when you go out and do it? Do you have a hobby like your mom's that you really enjoy?
You and I could go out and do things together. But I'm married and live on the other side of the country, so that won't work.

jayni & ben said...

hahah. You crack me up. Lets hope you don.t have a mental breakdown. That wouldn't be good. Don't let anyone make you feel 25 is old. You will find some Meagen. You are a cute girl. And LOTS of fun!!

Sell...Party Of 3 said...

Can I just say that if you didn't live in Utah you probably wouldn't feel this way. I am pretty sure that Utah makes you feel like you are out of place, that not being married by 25 is some how bad...it's not. Relax, enjoy yourself. I don't regret getting married young, but on the other hand my sister got married at 30...and she seriously got to do sooo much because she waited. AND guess what? She is married, and now has a baby...so basically we are in the exact same spot. It just happened at different times. Don't compare yourself to others, which is so much easier said than done. I do it all of the time. Seriously, most of the girls my age have at least 3 kids...and who actually waits almost 6 years to have their first child, and then doesn't have one for another 5?! It is only abnormal in Utah, but I compare myself to "them" all of the time!! =)
Okay, I have rambled.

Don't have a breakdown. Paul had one at 25 and again at 30...it's not fun!


Michelle said...

Um, can we be friends? like in real life? :)

Meagen said...

Ha ha! We really should Michelle cause we are the bomb.com :)

Michelle said...

We really are huh! :) :) yayyyy! I will get your number from Jayni or something and we can hang out. :)

Anonymous said...

my friend Josh is still single :P

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