I didn't sleep until 4AM this morning. I was extremely stressed out and experiencing major anxiety all week. I was so overwhelmed that 1.5 Ambien and 2 Percocet didn't put me sleep. Why was I so stressed you might be wondering? Well, Doba terminated my loyal employment of almost 4 years on Tuesday, my 25th birthday no less.
Doba decided that they were no longer going to be able to continue the relationship because I used all of my Paid Time Off (PTO) for sickness and accidents. I am devestated by this, but oddly relieved. For the better part of a year I have been through many health trials (8 months of chronic migraines, 6 root canals, torn up knee, food poisoning, shoulder dislocation, etc.) and through them all I never felt like I had the opportunity to clear my head and fully recover because I was always worried about my job. I no longer have that concern so hopefully I can focus on getting my mental and phsyical issues in order again. I've got 3 different doctor appointments scheduled already for next week.
I am trying my best to have a positive outlook, to see the silver lining, but I just can't right now. I know I will find something else, I'm just so overwhelmed. I am so overwhelmed with the events of this past week and year that I went to the doctor yesterday and got some anti-anxiety medication (Xanax) it seems to be helping, but right now I can hardly type I am so nervous and scared feeling that I have zero direction in my life. I ended up taking two last night (or this morning rather) to help me relax so I could get a few hours of shut eye before my long last day of working at Doba. :( I am so sad. I loved my job, truly I did. I just don't understand, I had a rough year health-wise and emotionally, things that are out of my control, and I get fired for it.
So, the next seven days are going to be all about me. I am going to do the things that I want, things that make me happy. Spend time with my dog, sleep in late, tan, and work out. Tie up a bunch of loose ends I haven't had the time or energy to deal with until now. After my "all about me vaca" my aggressive job search begins! I hope I am able to find something that helps me grow as an individual and work well with a group of similarly open minded people. I may also look into returning to school. I would probably qualify for some grants or assistant since I am unemployed. This may be the route I need to take.
If anyone knows of any HR, administrative assistant type jobs in Utah-County I would appreciate the information on them. I need at least $40,000/year to stay in my current living conditions. I have a resume ready to send, just shoot me an email with directions and the job description. Also, I've updated my email address to meagenridley at gmail .com. I'll check the other one regularly but I'm trying to get everything moved over ASAP.
I asked Holli to move in with me for a few months until the end of the year. I'm excited for the time we'll get to spend and that she will be able to help me a bit with rent and the Tonka-monster. I love her so much more than I could ever put into words. She has been staying with me in some compacity for the last month and I am so very grateful for this. She helps tremendously with Tonka and she cleans and makes me not feel so lonely. She and Madi are my very best friends and I need their support right now. My parents are very loving and supporting and I know they will do their best to keep me a float until I find something new.
Since I know a lot of my Doba coworkers read my blog, I wish each of you the very best. Please stay in touch via email (above or the link to the right) and Facebook. I have a feeling I will be either offline for the next few days to week or online a ton looking for jobs. We'll see. Enjoy your weekends and I will do my best to make good use of the time off I unexpectedly have.