Today's picks
Zucchini Plant - it looks prehistoric to me. Dinosaur food maybe?
Lemon Cucumber
Tomatoes
Garden boxes - these boxes are 3x8-ish. Those plants are taking over the yard!
Today's pick
HUGE Zucchini
17 August 2011
Garden Veggies!
My Dad has a serious green thumb this year! I'm not sure what he did but the garden has never grown like this. The plants are overflowing their boxes! I gathered all of this just today. That's 50 jalapenos! Yellow cucumbers, regular cucumber, tomatoes, and zucchinis. I don't know where that really large zuch came from.. I go out there about every other day and my Dad is out there everyday. Somehow we both missed it for this long.
12 August 2011
All or nothing
I fully realized today I am an all or nothing type of person. I saw a therapist once who told me I was exactly that and I remember saying to myself, yeah okay, but how does recognizing that help me get out of bed in the morning? I still don't know and it's really getting worse.
Hobbies - I don't just casually do things like crafts or puzzles. Recently, I finished 3 1000 piece puzzles in a matter of 14 days. I will knit 5 or 6 beanies in just a few days and then I won't yarn for months. It's the same thing with reading. I get really into it and have a stack on my nightstand, and will read 2-3 books in a few weeks and then won't pick up another for a long time. When I redecorate a room I will do all of it at once, I don't like collecting a piece here and there.
Dating and friends - I want to be in a relationship seriously moving in a forward direction or I don't want to date you at all. I want to be the focus of a guy's attention, because they will be mine. I don't care for casual dating much. The expectations are never clear and I usually end up disappointed. I have many casual acquaintances but I have few really close friends. Those that are, I talk to almost everyday and know exactly what's going on in their lives. I feel like I hit roadblocks a lot with personal relationships. I will completely open up to you or I won't at all. More often than not it's the latter. For example, I generally avoid getting close to people I work with. I feel like if coworkers know too many details of my personal life they will be used against me in some way. In many ways I no longer lead a lifestyle similar to those around me and I feel like I will be judged if people knew my real beliefs on certain subjects. There are more than a handful of things in my life, especially in the last three or four years that I am more than ashamed/embarrassed about and I just avoid budding relationships with everyone to avoid telling these ugly parts. I build walls to avoid being judged and in return I end up lonely. I don't know how to open up anymore.
Finances - I used to be so on top of my financial well being it was amazing. I kicked ass at paying my bills on time and knowing exactly where all my money was. Part of that was that I was making really good money and had little expenses. However, not working for 18 months while racking up ungodly amounts of medical bills has killed that. Not to mention I make less than half of what I used to, there's barely enough for gas and food, let alone get caught up on past shit. I avoid the mailbox and the thought of adding up the numbers gives me serious anxiety. I know the longer I put this off the worse it gets but I literally don't know where to start.
This all or nothing mentality is killing me. It has become super easy for me to get down on myself and feel like a failure. Most often I will feel I could have done better in one aspect and I can quickly move on. But right now, I'd like to just completely start over with life. I really would, I feel like I am so far behind or doing poorly in so many areas that it's just not worth the effort, so I've slowly stopped making any at all. I want to just wipe the slate clean, but I cant. I need to find some healthy balance in my life and I don't know how. My life used to be in perfect working order, and now it's just chaos.
Hobbies - I don't just casually do things like crafts or puzzles. Recently, I finished 3 1000 piece puzzles in a matter of 14 days. I will knit 5 or 6 beanies in just a few days and then I won't yarn for months. It's the same thing with reading. I get really into it and have a stack on my nightstand, and will read 2-3 books in a few weeks and then won't pick up another for a long time. When I redecorate a room I will do all of it at once, I don't like collecting a piece here and there.
Dating and friends - I want to be in a relationship seriously moving in a forward direction or I don't want to date you at all. I want to be the focus of a guy's attention, because they will be mine. I don't care for casual dating much. The expectations are never clear and I usually end up disappointed. I have many casual acquaintances but I have few really close friends. Those that are, I talk to almost everyday and know exactly what's going on in their lives. I feel like I hit roadblocks a lot with personal relationships. I will completely open up to you or I won't at all. More often than not it's the latter. For example, I generally avoid getting close to people I work with. I feel like if coworkers know too many details of my personal life they will be used against me in some way. In many ways I no longer lead a lifestyle similar to those around me and I feel like I will be judged if people knew my real beliefs on certain subjects. There are more than a handful of things in my life, especially in the last three or four years that I am more than ashamed/embarrassed about and I just avoid budding relationships with everyone to avoid telling these ugly parts. I build walls to avoid being judged and in return I end up lonely. I don't know how to open up anymore.
Finances - I used to be so on top of my financial well being it was amazing. I kicked ass at paying my bills on time and knowing exactly where all my money was. Part of that was that I was making really good money and had little expenses. However, not working for 18 months while racking up ungodly amounts of medical bills has killed that. Not to mention I make less than half of what I used to, there's barely enough for gas and food, let alone get caught up on past shit. I avoid the mailbox and the thought of adding up the numbers gives me serious anxiety. I know the longer I put this off the worse it gets but I literally don't know where to start.
This all or nothing mentality is killing me. It has become super easy for me to get down on myself and feel like a failure. Most often I will feel I could have done better in one aspect and I can quickly move on. But right now, I'd like to just completely start over with life. I really would, I feel like I am so far behind or doing poorly in so many areas that it's just not worth the effort, so I've slowly stopped making any at all. I want to just wipe the slate clean, but I cant. I need to find some healthy balance in my life and I don't know how. My life used to be in perfect working order, and now it's just chaos.
26 July 2011
16 July 2011
05 July 2011
Life List Updated
I made some changes!
Eat pineapple in HawaiiRide in a trainKiss on a bridgeBuild-A-BearGet a tattooRide in the Tea CupsGo to the end of a rainbowRide in a hot air balloon
Fly first class
Ride in a submarine
Name a star
Fall head over heals in love
Visit New York
Be an inspiration
Culinary Arts School
Go to a World Series game
Visit the big sycamore tree in Indiana
See the Northern Lights
Attend a taping of The Price is Right
Go to the top of a lighthouse
Attend Mardi Gras
Learn Spanish
Learn to knit for reals
Attend the Sundance Film Festival
See the Golden Gate Bridge
Eat at a Gordon Ramsay Restaurant
See a space shuttle launch
Learn to ride a motorcycle
04 July 2011
Lasso
I'm so into music right now! LOVE! So I'm spreading The Band Perry love. Listen here.
Lasso
The Band Perry
When I first laid eyes on you
Well, the night just felt so odd
You looked at me and the stars lined up
So I thought I'd heard from God
And I gave him my best shot
Loving you was like throwing a lasso around a tornado
I tried to hold on to you
Took a ride on a tilt-a-whirl that sits on top of the world
Man, I thought I could show you
I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying
Felt like a pearl when I was holding your hand
So precious I forgot
You could have any girl but I only wanted one man
Still I gave it my best shot
Loving you was like throwing a lasso around a tornado
I tried to hold on to you
Took a turn on a high trapeze swinging over the deep
I thought i could show you
I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying
Like a vine bends a tree to the ground
I won't hold you down
I tried to climb just as high
But I found all the clouds touch the ground
In this small town
Took a ride on a high trapeze swinging over the deep
I thought I could show you
That I've always been afraid of flying
But you can't blame a girl for trying
No, you can't blame a girl
Walk Me Down The Middle
This is pretty much my favorite song and band right now. They are (in the words of my sister) amazeballs! Seriously, I've listened to this song 16 times on iTunes since I bought the album like a week ago. Oh and this one is my favorite right now too. Kenny is always my favorite though. Amazeballs!
Walk Me Down The Middle
The Band Perry
I was meant to be by your side
And I have waited here a long time
For you to turn around and notice me
But now you're here holding hands with me
Walk me down the middle of the county fair
Walk me down the middle like you don't care
Walk me by the ferris wheel
And make sure she sees
Let the whole world know you belong to me
I heard about your bitter end
About how she stole your heart and put back again
Well I may not be the prettiest girl around
But I sure am a sight for sore, sore eyes
Walk me down the middle of Main Street
Walk me down where the whole town will be
I don't need no parade
But make sure that she sees
Let the whole world know you belong to me
I'd walk through fire for you
Walk through barbed wire for you
I'd walk for miles, it's true
Just to be with you
If you walk me down the middle of my momma's church
Walk me down that aisle in your finest shirt
Let the whole world know you will
Walk me down the middle of the county fair
Walk me down the middle like you don't care
Walk me by the ferris wheel
And make sure they all see
Let the whole world know you belong to me
You belong to me
28 June 2011
17 June 2011
DO NOT Use CLEAR Internet Service
They are a scam! Here's my story: in February we switched ISPs and went with Clear. We were a bit skeptical at first because they were a fairly new company, but ultimately we decided to make the change for three reasons: they had an unlimited usage plan, their service was built to stream video really well, and the pricing was good. So we buy their modem for $150 (to avoid being in contract) and signed up for their unlimited service plan at $45/mo. It only took a few minutes to hook up the modem to our router and we were off and running. Everything worked great! There was a few days were the service seemed to be a little slow, but we attributed that to March Madness and figured there were more people using the service during the games and what not. No big deal.
So last week they sent us an email saying that during routine maintenance they found an atypical amount of usage on our account and said we were bogging down their system. They attributed this to a) viruses on our computers b) an unprotected router and/or c) constant uploading or streaming of data. They told us to check the computers, router, and to be more cautious of our usage to be sure other users weren't experiencing problems. My first reaction was oh wow, I hope someone isn't piggy backing on our router and causing the problem. If they were they'd have to be doing a massive amount of downloading and what not in order for our account to be causing other users problems. Then I was bugged. I thought we were paying for unlimited usage so even if others were on our router it shouldn't matter, right? We called them and they confirmed our unlimited plan and told us to take the above listed precautions to avoid any problems. So we looked into it and we don't have any viruses on our machines and our router is password protected. We'd done everything we could on our end and figured it would work itself out. Well Wednesday we got another email saying the same thing, only this time it said that if we don't adjust our internet usage to an appropriate level they will terminate our service. WHAT?! Adjust our usage? We have an UNLIMITED plan. And what exactly is an "appropriate" level? Here's a few screen shots of our usage since March.
So last week they sent us an email saying that during routine maintenance they found an atypical amount of usage on our account and said we were bogging down their system. They attributed this to a) viruses on our computers b) an unprotected router and/or c) constant uploading or streaming of data. They told us to check the computers, router, and to be more cautious of our usage to be sure other users weren't experiencing problems. My first reaction was oh wow, I hope someone isn't piggy backing on our router and causing the problem. If they were they'd have to be doing a massive amount of downloading and what not in order for our account to be causing other users problems. Then I was bugged. I thought we were paying for unlimited usage so even if others were on our router it shouldn't matter, right? We called them and they confirmed our unlimited plan and told us to take the above listed precautions to avoid any problems. So we looked into it and we don't have any viruses on our machines and our router is password protected. We'd done everything we could on our end and figured it would work itself out. Well Wednesday we got another email saying the same thing, only this time it said that if we don't adjust our internet usage to an appropriate level they will terminate our service. WHAT?! Adjust our usage? We have an UNLIMITED plan. And what exactly is an "appropriate" level? Here's a few screen shots of our usage since March.
Mar-Apr 255,409 MB used
Apr-May 179,682 MB used
May-June 144,408 MB
We are using much less now than we did when we first started using the service! But apparently that is soo much we are a problem to others. I find it hard to believe that one household's usage could be killing their systems. And even if that was the case and that user has an unlimited plan, it's not a user issue to fix. It's Clear's. Get more towers or better systems or whatever. Do not put some imaginary limit on the user that's paying for what they think is unlimited service! So, we did a little more research into this problem and apparently this happens to A LOT of their users. This is their scam. They get people in the door with an unlimited plan, everything is fine for a month or two, then they say you are using too much, bogging down their system and cut you off. What a joke! Luckily, we are not in contract with them. In some cases if you are in contract they penalize you for terminating it, even if they are the ones doing the terminating! UNBELIEVABLE! I hate this company! So now we must find a new ISP. Blahhh. So if anyone has some suggestions I'm open. I will not go with Comcast, their customer service is HORRID and Qwest is too expensive. Oh PS I posted this negative review using Clear's internet service. Bitches!!
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