Doppelganger

Kate Hudson/ME!/Jewel

Tonka & Bear

Holli and I have been dogsitting Bear, our friend Sam's pomeranian. I was a little worried about it at first because we've never had any other dogs in the house with Tonka, but they are doing really well together! So well it has made me think about getting another dog. If I did it would most likely be a long-haired dachsund. Anyway, it was perfect timing. I have been home with Tonka for almost 4 months now he's become rather dependent. He would starting pouting when I would get ready to go to the store. With starting work he was going to be alone again for the majority of the day and dogs can get pretty lonely. When I came Thursday Tonka was so tired from playing all day he could barely keep his eyes opened. And they love going on walks together. I will try to take a video and post it. I haven't been able to get any good pictures yet, but here are a few so far. I'm going to be sad when Bear goes home, but hopefully we'll get to watch him again soon.

Thankful

I've started three blog posts today, two of which are meaningless. I've spent 90% of the last 4 months staring at my computer screen looking for a job, watching movies and TV shows, reading blogs and following tons various news stories. I love finding random crazy stories, I think I've become a news junkie. Anyway, I've been following the happenings down in Haiti since the quake and I just saw that they found another man alive after 14 days buried under rocks and rubble. Which is crazy-cool.

The events in Haiti have got me thinking about all of the 'disasters' that have happened in my day. The first I remember was the Oklahoma City Bombing. I was at the dentist and when my Mom brought me home we turned on the news and watched the coverage of it for the remainder of the day. Columbine, 9/11, the tsunami, Hurricane Katrina, floods in the mid-west, so many people going through life changing trials and hardship.

I'm not really sure what it has been about this disaster (Haiti), but I can't stop thinking about how truly blessed I am. I have so many blessings that I feel like I don't even know the magnitude of some of them and others I'm not sure I deserve. I have all of the basic essentials: food, shelter, water. I have a family that loves me unconditionally, I have friends, I have a job (in the works) that will help me get my financials back on the right track. I have a good running car, cell phone, laptop, desktop. I could go on and on.

A few days ago my Internet router pooped it's pants and went down for maybe 3 hours. I was so pissed. I had to check my email and follow Facebook FROM MY PHONE. UGH. It was the END OF THE WORLD.

I am even more embarassed at how upset I was when my washing machine ripped a hole in my 1000ct. sheets. They were very expensive and very comfortable and the machine ruined them. I saw them folded up in the closet today and realized that there are people in Haiti that will be washing the clothes off their backs in rivers and streams and they are using sheets to shelter them from the elements.

The last 2 years were rough for me in so many ways. I had a lot of health issues come up (migraines, root canals, insomnia, broken tail bone, ear - equilibrium/Meniere's disease, knee/back problems, side effects of medications), a relationship that I had invested everything I had into failed and ended in more heartbreak and disappointment than I'll probably ever admit too, and to top it all off I was fired from a job that I had loved for the better part of 4 years on my 25th birthday. 2008/2009 were not my years. I feel like at times it was (and still is) hard for me to see through to the light of the bigger picture because I had so many layers of shit to see through first. But I'm trying.

I know that the last few months I have been in a quiet depressed state. So many things changed in such a short period of time, I felt like I lost control of everything and my life blew up. I need to work on seeing the bigger picture of my life in order to stay positive about the smaller trials. I am no longer a member of the LDS Church, but I still have a relationship with my Heavenly Father and I need to keep those lines of communication open on a more frequent basis to be more positive.

I guess the purpose of this post is to get all of my feelings out. I hope that I can remember this feeling and to be eternally grateful for the blessings big or small in my life. I want to continue to see the big picture and try not to get so discouraged about the minor set backs. I want to tell those people I love just how much I love them. I don't want to have any regrets about the choices I make. I want to live a happier, more optimistic life starting right now.

Emile Hirsch

I have a big fat crush on Emile Hirsch. He he! It was a little crush when I saw The Girl Next Door. Then it was a bigger crush when I saw Into the Wild, and now it's a big fat crush because I just watched Alpha Dog again. I recommend everyone see all of them.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

I received an offer today for the job I mentioned last week and I have accepted! Starting next Monday I will be the Administrative Assistant to the CIO of SOS Staffing headquarters in West Valley City. I am really really excited! Seriously! My job description will be similar to that of my old position without the HR stuff that I didn't necessarily enjoy. I will be going to a lot of meetings, taking notes, creating agendas, and managing the CIO's calendar. I am excited to be able to focus on assisting the needs of one person rather than those of an executive team and various company events.

SOS Staffing headquarters is a very professional environment. Dress is business casual which will be an adjustment from the jeans and flip flops of Doba. I also don't expect to see or have to clean up any remnants of smashed monitors, plasma TVs, or printers, which got very old, very quickly. I am excited to be working in a more professional environment and meeting new people.

The only thing I am not looking forward to is the minimum 45 minute commute each way daily. I mentioned earlier that the Jeep needs some work (4 new tires, wiper blades, inside drivers door handle, back break light, and there is some noise when I turn in the front right tire) so my Mom has been sweet enough to switch cars with me until I can afford to get the repairs done it needs. I am going to put together some new play lists and download a few audio books for my iPod and that should help with the drive. I also need to look into purchasing a carpool lane pass. Does anyone have any information about these? Also, if anyone has any audio books I can borrow and rip to my iPod let me know.

Here's the books I am interested in getting: Three Men in a Boat, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, Wicked, and The Glass Castle.

I have looked a few apartments online in the Murray, Kearns, WVC areas if I really end up not liking the commute. There seems to be some good options even with the dog. My lease is up in May and I wouldn't mind getting out of Utah County for a while and if I lived closer up there I could come home at lunch and take care of Tonka which would be great. I am still a few steps away from that bridge, and will cross it if it seems like the right thing to do when it comes up.

In my opinion, the way my employment ended at Doba was very unprofessional, but, I know that I learned all I could from that job and it was time to move on to something else. I am very grateful to have this opportunity in front of me and I plan to take full advantage. I learned a few things while being unemployed too. It was rough and I am glad that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to my readers for sticking with me during such a blah time in my life. Hopefully, I will have lots of new and exciting posts in store for you. I'm very grateful to have had my blog as an outlet for frustrations with my termination, finding a new job, being on unemployment, and general life sucky-ness. Thanks friends and blog stalkers!

Coolest. Bandaid. Ever.

Oh boy

You know when you put some medicine in your mouth and then you frantically search your bedroom for a drink of some sort and then you can't find anything and then they start to dissolve and then for 2 seconds you think well I'll just spit them out, then you're like no this shit is expensive and controlled, so then you run to the kitchen and stick your head under the sink and choke down the tap water just so you don't gag? Yeah, that just happened to me.

Quote

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” --Bob Marley

Today

Today I am going to do this:

While sitting next to this:

And snuggling with him:

It should be a good day, don't you think?

Update

I've looked at my blog several times the last few days and each time I do my last post bugs me and I think, I need something new, that one is a bit Depressed-Debbie, and then I close the window and go about my day. Well I can't take it any longer so here is a small update that is a bit more Peppy-Peggy.

Mid last week I received an email from an old coworker with news of a possible job prospect! I was really excited to hear from her and about the potential new job. I immediately sent over my resume and I interviewed for it on Friday. I think it went really well and I hope to hear back from them sometime this upcoming week! The job and the environment sound fabulous and I know I could do it really really well. So I am hopeful! If I hear back with good news I will do another post with more detail. I really want to begin working again. I am ready and my finances are really starting to blow up, so I need to get things back in order.

My ears are still feeling pretty great. I've been on the diuretic for about two weeks now and so far so good. Yay! I woke up this morning with a sore throat though so I hope I'm not getting a cold or something. I guess we'll see tomorrow.

I'm going to see The Book of Eli this week! I'm pretty excited because one: my date is really fun and two: it's Denzel, whom I love. I've ran out of shows and movies to watch at home, so I started FRIENDS again for the millionth time. I just love Ross & Rachel. I still remember watching the series finale on my parents couch. I balled my eyes out. I am so happy they ended the show with them together! I would have been pissed if they weren't!

Let's see what else to update. My nephew is still the cutest thing EVA! See?

Lastly, the Jeep is falling apart. It needs four new tires (two at the very least), new windshield wipers, a new back brake light, a new drivers inside door handle, and now it's making some noise when I turn. So that really sucks, but I'll deal I guess.

There's my update! Cross your fingers and toes that I'll have good news to report on the job-front sometime this week! Happy Sunday bloggy friends and stalkers.

GPOYW - Different Edition

I don't have a GPOYW again this week, sorry. Today sucked and I didn't really feel like taking any pictures of myself. Do you ever wish you could just hit CTRL+ALT+DEL on your life and start over? I have felt like this almost every day for a year. I know it's dramatic, but I am just so tired of hitting this brick wall whenever I feel like something good is starting to go my way. I can't focus on what is in front of me because in the back of my mind I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for everything to blow up, which it inevitably does. Maybe things will be different next time. But I am not hopeful. Ugh. I hate feeling this way.

Here's a cute picture of Tonka, maybe that will cheer up me or maybe someone else?

Sleep

I'm struggling to fall asleep, again. I'm tired, i just want to sleep, but I just can't get there. It's really annoying. I've been drinking tea each night in hopes that it will help relax me, which it does, but then I've been sweetening it with sugar because I'm out of honey, so I think that may very well counter out the relaxation effect. Anyway, there really isn't much more to be said about the subject other than it's 3:02AM, I took my sleeping pill over 3 hours ago and I am still wide awake.

Update & Resolutions

Welcome 2010! Yay! New year! Okay, so an update. Christmas was good, different, but good. I have survived not taking any of the Prednisone. I've been off it for 2 weeks. I was pleasantly surprised, usually when I don't take it I am flat on my butt with vertigo and pressure in my head, I only had one night where it was really bad. The remainder of the week was bearable. I went to the Rheumatologist on the 28th and he had absolutely no answers for me in regards to my ear/equilibrium issue. I knew he wouldn't, he deals with arthritis, but whatever, I'll play that game. So I returned to my family practitioner and he put me on a diuretic (water pill) and after 3 days, I must say my ears feel fanfrickentastic! Seriously, I haven't felt this good in 6 months. The pressure is receding, the crackling is gone, the dizziness is under control. I'm like a whole new woman! So I am hoping that they continue to improve and maybe the issue will resolve itself? Although, there will be a big part of me that will be pissed if all I needed this whole time was a water pill. We'll see.

New Years! Let's see, we spent it at the hotel again. Playing games, watching movies, eating, drinking, snacks, etc. It was fun though, another year has passed without a new years kiss. Lame. As far as the new year, I have made a few resolutions.

1. No more swearing.

2. Read 1 book/month.

3. Wii Yoga 3x week.

I'm afraid my mouth has turned into that of a trucker as of lately, and it's really just unattractive. So no more swearing for me. I tried the book thing last year in addition to the documentation of each meal resolution. That lasted about 3 months, which was rather impressive considering the effort it took each day. But I have stacks of books that I truly do want to read, I just need to get my butt in gear and do it. I figure if I have a deadline of one per month I should definitely be able to handle that.

So here's what I plan to read the next 12 months. A couple I have read previously, but they are so good, I really want to read them a second time. I may change out one or two if I hear about good books others are reading. Do any of you have any suggestions of books I might enjoy? Leave me a comment or sent me an email if you do! I'd be happy to look into your suggestion.

Eat, Pray, Love

3 Men in a Boat

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

Wicked

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

To Kill a Mockingbird

The Friday Night Knitting Club

The Alchemist

Love in the Time of Cholera

The Catcher in the Rye

The Gargoyle

The Glass Castle

Let's see my last resolution, we received Wii Fit for Christmas and I haven't had a chance to fully play it, but I want to make a goal of doing Wii Yogo for 3x/week. So I will start and it will track it for me and WOO! I'll be limber and able to move again in a matter of weeks. Wish me luck in sticking with all my resolutions. What are your resolutions?