14 June 2009

Bad Mood

I'm in a bad mood today and here's why.

I'm tired of this gloomy weather. It makes me depressed. I need the sunshine and warmth for my well-being. I have put up with doom and gloom for more than half the year, it's my turn to enjoy the outdoors. 

I couldn't pick my sleeping medicine up until Saturday. So Friday night I didn't sleep at all and it throws everything off and makes me grumpy. I have my drugs now and got plenty of sleep last night, but it still throws everything off. 

I miss my sister and nephew and soon to be brother in law. They are fun and a cute little family and I hate that they live in California. I wish they lived here.

I am so tired of dating or the lack there of or whatever. I don't understand guys. I don't know what I am doing wrong or not doing but nothing seems to work out. I just want someone to spend some time and have fun with. I don't want to get married anytime soon, I just want something to work out. I want someone that I can count on. I want to be a priority to someone. I need something to work out soon or I am afraid I am going to become too negative for anything to ever work out for me relationship-wise. Whatever.

My tooth hurts and is giving me a funny taste in my mouth. Oh and this isn't the one that was giving me all of the headache trouble. This is the one that I went in to get a cleaning and was told I needed another root canal and crown. I can not afford all of this tooth stuff. I cleared out all of my savings to move and fix the Jeep before that. There is nothing left and this new crown is going to be another $400, not to mention the $300 it costs to have the root canal its self. 

I am fat. I know I'm not FAT, but I'm fat. My favorite jeans ripped last week and I don't have any others that fit. I tried to get dressed this morning and just sat in my closet and cried because nothing fits me anymore. And I mean nothing.  I know this is totally in my control and when I stopped working out end of last summer everything just went down hill. But I'm just....fat.



Anonymous said...

Fat you are definitely not. You look pretty damn good if you ask me.

Brady and Madi said...

Hahaha don't talk to me about being fat little lady, try gaining 40 pounds in five months. Yeah, you saw my stomach right? DESTROYED!
And I wish I lived there too :(

Meagen said...

You had a baby, thats to be expected.

-nickk and whitleyy- said...

sweetie. i know you don't want to hear "you're not fat" lol it just doesn't help the situation. trust me i know.. buuuut i do know how you feel. it's like wow, were did my cute little 19 year old body go?? seriously, i was chubby (and always have been) but now???? like, this is ridiculous. hi! obese over here. cody always tells me "it could be worse." and that helps a little but only until i try to get into my jeans the next morning ya know??? sucky. i hate being a girl.

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