Bikers

I wanted to expand on a note my sister made on her blog this morning. You can read it here. Bikers really must go. I don't mean long haired dudes with tattoos and bandannas. I don't mean the guys getting crazy down in Moab. I don't mean the average joe riding his 10-speed up to the local Sev for a slurpee. I mean the Lance Armstrong loving, Tour de France watching, tight spandex wearing bikers. You must go. Or at the very least get off the road where we (and by we I mostly mean I) drive. You are such a distraction!! And not because you THINK you look good in those little outfits with the Camelbak hydration system stuck in your mouths. You are not a car. No matter how hard you pedal you will never keep up with 4 wheels. When you are on the roads everyone slooowwws down and moves over 9 feet into the turning lane just to be sure we don't come close to hitting you. Even the lanes specific to bikes are not all that helpful, everyone still moves over and things get backed up. At traffic lights, we are all stopped and you come whipping through the middle of us. Yes, us. The inferior group also known as CARS. This is very annoying to me. What if I stuck my arm out the window (not that I have windows ha) to soak up some sun right as you come zippin past? I'll lose my arm! I like my arm! I don't want to be lopsided. Not to mention cars don't get to butt in line like that, so back off, you should wait your turn for the lights just like everyone else.

Some would say that these bike riders are doing some good for the environment by pedaling to and from where ever, which is true, but how about they try recycling all those Gatorade bottles they drink to get all amped up to ride 20 miles? That would be good for the environment.

Now I'm not asking you to go away completely, how about you just get on the sidewalk? We all pay for those so someone other than the little old grandpas with suspenders should use them. (PS when my future husband and I are old and wrinkly I hope my husband wears suspenders because I think grandpas are so cute in them.) Moving on, Maybe we should slap license plates on all of bikes on the road and riders can pay to get their bikes registered just like cars. I don't know what this would accomplish, but whatever.

Well now that I am sure I have offended someone who's husband or brother is training for some marathon, I am finished venting. I know none of this will change any of the bike laws (which I realize I don't know what any of them are) but it did bring my road rage levels down a notch or two. So thanks for being a soundboard to my complaints.