I can't sleep. My heart was pounding so hard it woke me up. I HATE not sleeping and it's too late to take another Ambien. So, I've been reading blogs on other people getting off medications and lower back pain. And I started Sons of Anarchy over. I love me some SAMCRO. If you don't watch that show currently, you need to get on it. I mean Charlie Hunnam. Need I say more?
I got in for a 90 minute massage last night after I posted Day 4. It totally relaxed my body. Except I'm not sure it really helped my back pain, it's traveling down the back of my left leg now and it's like wrapping around my hip into my stomach. It almost feels like I have a ovarian cyst, only I can feel the direct "pain line" if you will from my back.
This MRI better give me some answers. I'm terrified they are going to tell me I have early signs of my Dad's diseases: DISH and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Read those and you'll know why. I don't know what I would do or how I would handle that news. I'd probably be in a dark room with a bottle or two of tequila for a few days. I have 3 mini bottles of Sprite, 1 can of Coke, and 3 cans of Dr. Pepper sitting around in my room. I should probably just quit all of my vices while I'm at it. Hahaha, I have no intention of giving up my Coke and DP any time in the near future. That's just stupid.
Thanks to everyone for the flood of supporting comments, emails, and texts. It really means so much to me. I was pretty nervous about putting all of this out there, but I think it really was the best idea. I feel like it has given me a huge level of accountibility. I have thought every single day that I just want to go back on my medicine full throttle. I could if I wanted to, no one is forcing me to quit this treatment plan, it's 100% my choice. But I feel like it would be disappointing to the almost 300 unique visitors to my site in the last 4 days. Apparently, people like reading about detoxing and drugs? Anyway, thank you for the support. I appreciate it.