I want to move far far away...

I want to leave Utah, permanently. Today I drove my Dad to an appointment in Salt Lake and as we drove home I got a different feeling about my surroundings. Aside from the weather I've always enjoyed living in Utah. My immediate family was here, my circle of friends, and I had a great job. In the past I have thought about what it would be like to live in another state, but I never really had anything pushing me to go. Whenever I would get the urge to branch out of the Utah County bubble I knew I had the option of moving north to Salt Lake for more culture and a different set of people. But the idea of Salt Lake isn't enough anymore.

I hate Utah. I think it's awful. For starters, I LOATHE the weather. We used to have four distinct seasons: spring, summer, fall, winter. But in recent years we've had cold more than half the year. Spring consists of a few warm days and then bam! it's 95 degrees for three months and then it's back to freezing my ass off. I'm not into skiing or snowboarding so winter sports are not a draw for me.

Next, I don't like a lot of the people here. Say what you want, but the people of Utah are SO judgemental. I have a theory, and it involves the predominate religion so I won't go into it but I wish people  could just be more accepting of others.

I am unemployed and have been for some time now. I have been looking for a job, any job for 6 months. And let's not forget the 6 months I looked for work after things ended with Doba. It is an employers market, and while I have a lot of experience and I am a great worker, there are so many people looking for work. It's just been a struggle for a year now and I just want a new landscape with different companies and more opportunities.

I have slim to none friends here anymore. Anyone I considered a friend once has now gotten married and are starting families. And that is wonderful, but it's hard to keep a friendship strong when you are at totally different stages in life. I need a new circle.

You know the saying 'wherever you go, there you are'? Well I'd like a chance to prove that saying wrong. My past/current situation seems to follow me here no matter where I go. I'm at the doctor and I get asked about my Mom. I go to the grocery store and the checkers ask about my Dad or my sister. I go on job interviews and they know my former co-workers or bosses and they want to know why I would EVER quit working for them. Gahg. If only I could say the things I really want to say. Whatever. I just want to go someplace where no one knows me or my situation. I want a clean slate.

Lastly, I am pretty well finished with the church. The church was once a thing that kept me near Utah as I thought it was something I always wanted to have in my life. I also had this notion that my odds in finding "the one," the guy I'm supposed to build a life with were higher if I stayed in a place that was filled with men of the LDS faith. Well, I don't believe those things anymore. I don't believe in "the one". I believe that we chose who we want to mold ourselves to in order to build a life together. Someone wasn't made for us. A person can make life work with more than just one person. And as for the church,  if at some point I decide to participate and incorporate it back into my life I don't have to be in Utah for that.

I'm not sure where I will end up yet and it won't happen for a while, but I do know one thing for certain, I want out of Utah. There's just nothing left here for me.

Vampire Movie Marathon

In honor of Halloween I am having a Vampire Movie Marathon today! I'm going to watch the Twilight, Blade, and Underworld series. Yay! Happy Halloween!

Book Worm

I'm back in the reading mood again and I love feeling this way. Maybe it's the finter weather (fall-winter get it? ha ha) making me want to curl up in bed or on the couch with Tonka, chai tea and a good book. Anyway, I've got my next few books already picked out but after that I am open to suggestions! So if you know of a book you think I'd enjoy leave me a comment and I'll check it out.

Currently, I am reading The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson. I loved the first one and finished it in about six days. So I was pretty excited to find the second book in the series for only $10 at Borders while in California last week. 

Next on my list is to finish Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins. I've got maybe 150 pages to go. I've enjoyed the Hunger Games Series. They are entertaining and simple to read. I haven't heard many good things about the 3rd book, Mockingjay, but I plan to read it at some point as well.

Once Catching Fire is finished I plan to read Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer. I've wanted to read it for a while but never think about it when I go to the book store. Turns out Holli has a copy and now it's waiting for me on my nightstand.

So, like I said after these are finished I am ready for suggestions, just leave me a comment. Also, I have been using the site Goodreads for about a year now and I really love it. If you are a big reader I highly recommend signing up. It tracks all the books you've read, plan to read, etc. You can read and write book reviews and participate in group discussions.

California Pictures

Here are the pictures I promised and a few more from the last Cali trip. It was a really great trip and I can't wait for the next one! 

Holli, Me, Brady, Madi, and KK at the 

Step Up for Down Syndrome Walk in Sacramento

Dog with dreads

Me and Holli

Holli on the top bunk of our sleeper car on the train

Me on the bottom bunk

Kelvin in the balls at school

Blue Valentine

I love Ryan Gossling and can't wait to see Blue Valentine The Movie.

KK and Step Up for Down Syndrome

I love my nephew Kelvin Kyler Love!! YAY! He's pretty much the cutest thing to ever walk the earth! Except he's not walking yet ha ha. Anyway, made another last minute trip to California and I got to spend a few days with him. He is just the happiest little guy, I love it! We got to participate in the Step Up for Down Syndrome walk in Sacramento and it was really fun, this is where I took this picure. Also at the walk I got registered on the Bone Marrow Donor list, which is cool. So if you need some marrow maybe you can have mine! AND I saw a dog with honest to god dreadlocks. I took pictures of him/her/it but they are on my camera and I forgot the cord so I'll add them later. Needless to say, this dog was awesome! I miss my dog and I can't wait to get home and see the Tonka-monster!

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