Another Update

My posts have been few and far between for a while mostly because I haven't felt like sharing. But I thought I should do this post not because I think anyone really cares, but in an attempt to let go of some of the stress and feelings that I tend to keep bottled up. I think most of this has been the root of my everlasting tension headache. So uh here we go (*mario voice* he he Holli).

Health: First, let me start by saying I find it very sad that I am 23 years old and actually feel the need to report on my health. I'm in the prime of my life, I shouldn't feel like I have the past month. I've had what the doctor calls a 'tension headache' for like I said, going on 3 weeks. It sucks. It's not one of my usual run-of-the-mill migraines that I can control with medicine. Some days it feel better than others, but for the most part it's always there. I went to a new chiropractor this week and I thought that it really helped, but last night my entire back just tightened up and was achy, so now I'm starting to think otherwise. I have another appointment with this new guy next week. Hopefully it will help relieve the headache and my back will loosen up a bit too.

I've also developed a cold this week. Most that know me know my feelings on colds. I HATE them. I am always miserable. My eyes water and itch, I can't breathe, my throat feels like it's closing up, and my ears fill with fluid, throwing off my equilibrium making me dizzy. Ugh. There is so much pressure behind my eyes today, I can't wear my contacts. Good thing I dropped a couple hundred dollars on new glasses a few months ago. This cold has renewed my love of 12-hour Sudafed though. It really helps. So has the humidifier (with soothing oil), Vicks Vapo-Rub, and those shower dissolver things I use every morning and night. Hopefully, this cold will let up soon. It seems like I get one every year around this time though. Boo.

I have over come my passing out spells I was experiencing a few weeks ago. Not sure what those were, but in the process I learned I'm allergic to morphine and got to ride in an ambulance. PS - that bill wasn't as bad as I was expecting, so I am pleased I won't be sent to the poor house because of it after all.

Education: Some good news, I think I have finally decided on the path I want to further my education in. Since high school I have had these feelings of 'what am I going to do with my life'. I have always known I wanted and needed to further my education, I just didn't know in what. I've thought about a few options these past five years. (OMG- it's been five years since I graduated high school - eek!) At one time I wanted to pursue a life in the nursing field. That didn't work out after I passed out assisting a doctor in a spinal tap. I've looked into becoming a graphic designer. I am a very creative person, but I am not sure I could be if I am not totally interested in the project. Meaning, I do very well with things that I am personally interested in i.e scrapbooking, photography, crafts, etc. But if I were required to do projects I wasn't in love with I don't think I'd get the same results. I feel like design is something I will look into again in the future, but it's not what I want to right now.

Since I was little there is something I have always wanted to do at some point in my life - obtain a culinary arts degree. This is a skill I have always wanted to learn and I think it's the path I'm supposed to take. I have been researching schools and while I am undecided on which I want to attend I am really really excited to pursue this opportunity. While researching schools I have become more excited in learning all the different avenues you can take with this degree, many of which I know I would be good at! Not only are there many different specialties but there is the whole business aspect of it. You could be a chef or own the restaurant or start a catering business! The options are limitless. This is also something that my future family (and current for that matter) can enjoy! I would love to be able to pass this skill along to my future children as well! In all my excitement with this I have been cooking a lot more. Last night I made chicken, pork, and steak kabobs! Don't they look yummy!?

Work: When I started my current job almost 3 years ago I absolutely loved it. I loved waking up and coming to a place with so much energy, knowing I wouldn't be doing the same thing as the day before. I loved the people I worked for and with. As of late, I had lost this feeling. I'm not really sure what happened or why. I just didn't quiet have the same love I once did. Well, this week I've started to renew my love for my job. Again, I'm not sure what changed. But things are starting to get better. The HR responsibilities which I really didn't care for are starting to become not so bothersome. My days seem to be filling with more things to do and I am keeping busy. I'm hoping to keep adjusting my attitude towards the things I don't care for and get back to a place where I am really happy with what I am doing again.

Misc: On a random note - I have decided to redecorate my living room and dining area. I think I'm going with purples and oranges. I've been thinking about it this past week and when I found this super cute cactus at Home Depot it sealed the deal! The cactus lives in my office at work, but I may move him to my house once I redecorate.

Relationships: I have a few relationships with various people that have been evolving as of late and these changes have been taking up a big portion of my thoughts. Relationships are difficult, but I know they are worth the effort put it and without the rough parts we can't have the good ones. I am just more of a pessimist and tend to play the devil's advocate in everything. I know I have to be patient with things and I am, but it has been a real trial for me. I don't really know what else to say on this but I am learning that I can not control everything and I need to be more optimistic.

Family: My family's life have always been a roller coaster it seems, but as of late there have been more loops. Madison announced her engagement to Brady in July. Although, I do not know very much about Brady, I know he treats her very well and they are happy together. They found out last week that they are pregnant. While part of me is very excited at this new opportunity to be an Aunt, to be honest, I am terrified. Maybe a small part of me is jealous. I don't know. I haven't completely wrapped my arms around this latest development. I guess I always thought I'd be the first of my sisters to get married and have children. But it seems like these kind of successes just get further from my reach as I get older. I know, I know, I'm 23. There is no rush, and I am not rushing anything, I know these things will come. It just gets frustrating when you live in a place where success is measured a lot by two things: marriage and family. Maybe a lot of these feelings also stem from my upcoming birthday.

The remainder of my family is about the same as usual. Holli is still battling her mono and fibro. My dad is dreading the winter and the effects it has on his ailing body. And my Mom is still working hard at the hotel. I love each of them very much and am grateful to have been blessed with them in my life.

For those of you who finished reading this novel of mine, thanks! Maybe all of the above is just me being dramatic. I know there are others with much bigger concerns but it's all been filling my head and maybe writing it all down somewhere will help ease my tired brain. But in the event that I do have a mental breakdown please come visit me in the crazy person hospital! :)