22 July 2009
Remember. I have been reading old chat logs for the last hour or so. So many thoughts in my head right now, but once my meds kick in I probably won't remember. So maybe this will help and I will be able to expand on them in another post. Most convos where innocent and brought back found memories. Others were angry and full of bitterness. The one that was the beginning of the end made my hands shake and my eyes cry. A year later and I still experience the same reaction. The recent conversations made me hopeful and hopeless at the same time. Maybe one day everything will be made clear to me, but until then I can't read anymore old conversatio ns. I can't sleep with these thoughts and feelings.