Things that must go

• The word 'loaf'
• The Netflix "Retrieving" screen
• Couples who share a Facebook Page
• Jimmer
• Women who post about their time of the month on Facebook
• Diuretics
• My laptop scratching my arm
• Running out of Coke and Dr Pepper
• Saving Grace only having 3 seasons
• Anyone that puts 'Mr. or Mrs.' in their pet's names (ie Mr. Tinker, Mrs Spottyboots)

Letters From Me

Dear external hard drive,

You were purchased so I could move all my photos, music, movies, shows, and files to you and then delete them from my laptop, giving it more space. You failed, horribly. You, for some unknown reason, threw out all my data and are now empty. You broke my heart. SERIOUSLY. You made me cry at Simply Mac. I hate you and will probably pull an Office Space on your ass.

Sincerely,

Meagen

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Dear Moms with 14 kids in line at the grocery store,

Please SHUT THEM UP! Your little brat screaming at the very top of her lungs is not cute in any way shape or form. Shut her up. I don't care how you do it, just do it.
Sincerely,

Deaf and frustrated, Meagen
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Dear 65 year old senior citizen driver,

Please stop driving. I know you think you've still got it and everything will be fine, but it's really not. You drive 15 mph under the limit and you switch lanes like you're the only one on the road. Also, that little stick on the left side of the steering wheel is called a turn signal. USE IT.

Sincerely,

Meagen
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Dear Target Pharmacy,
YOU SUCK.

Sincerely,
Meagen
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Dear Dentist,

You are a gouger. You charge outrageous prices to do mean things to my teeth. $250 to pull a tooth is so freaking insane.

Sincerely,

Meagen
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Cleaning out my closets

My life has taken a change of course. Or maybe now it just has a course (even as short and day to to day as it may feel right now) if that makes sense? Before I just did whatever I wanted and was okay with that. Maybe I shouldn't have been, or actually it was the greatest time of my life?! While everyone around me was getting married and having babies (and I often envied each of you) I lived on my own baby! I wasn't tied down, I could do whatever and whomever I pleased at any time. And dammit it was fun! I did/done/am doing something that few women in my area (good old LDS land) actually do because they immediately get hitched after high school. And I'm proud of it. I did and am doing a damn fine job. I have absolutely no regrets in the last five years of my life. I made my own choices and have taught myself to be self-sufficient and be my own person. I may have had doubts (a lot) at times along the way, but who doesn't? Shesh, go me go. Anyway, back to my purpose of this post...

With the loss of my job I have been forced to clean out each and every aspect of my life. All my closets. Everything hit at once. I was forced to go through all of my bills and figure how I am going to make it through jobless for a bit. Not counting my car I have less than $3K debt. Which in the big picture is nothing.

I have been given the opportunity to finally have time to figure out my health - the issue with my ear and passing out on a regular basis. I can get to the bottom of my knee, shoulder (think this is solved already though) and lower back pain instead of just masking it with pain pills on a daily basis. I am hoping to resolve my sleeping problems, but while I'm not sure these are solvable, I'm optimistic about it. All of this stress has brought on an extreme amount of anxiety, which I went and got help with (instead of just trying to ignore it and convince myself that it's no different than what anyone else is experiencing). While the anti-anxiety medication is a short term fix, it has helped tremendously. Hopefully, there will be a time soon when I am not taking 8 different medications on a daily basis and I can just be healthy.

A few days after losing my job and my awesome 25th birthday (sensing my sarcasm?) I got a few lovely (more sarcasm) emails with questions and accusations regarding a passed relationship. While it was awful, I dealt with it (INSANELY maturely, if I do say so myself) and I was able to close that chapter of my life once and for all. I should have done what I did a year ago. I know none of what I just said makes sense to anyone, because I kept the entire situation to myself (and I still intend to - so don't even ask me about it - it's done and done) but it was time I dealt with it so I can move on for real this time. Thank God.

Along with the cleaning out of my closets (literally - I cleaned my actual closets and found lots of things to sell! Buy them all here!) I've been forced to update all the little things in my life for example - my email address. I've had that "tanyabunsoff" since high school. Good grief, it was a joke, and I can't put that as my contact for a resume! Ha ha! So I updated all of that. My resume, email, calendars, and I updated my Google Reader last night. It took me forever but damn it's nice. Everything is listed by the person's name, and I got rid of all the people that have gone "private" and I can't see their feeds, I deleted blogs of people that haven't posted in forever. It was uh-mazing. I want to screenshot it and post it, it's that good. Kidding. Sort of. So along with updating those things I went through the "Posting" tab on my own blog. I had a lot of drafts that I started and never posted. Some I wished I had, others it's good I didn't. So I cleaned those up, but there were a few that I wanted to put out there for the sake of recording how I was feeling at one point. I hope anyone that is still reading this gets a laugh or two out of them, if not that's fine I did it for me! One of them is from last night (which I'll post at the end).

Things That Must Go Text Message Edition - drafted 07/14/09 @ 4:04PM

-When people don't send the obligatory "thank you" "okay" texts. This totally bugs. I want each and every one of my texts to be acknowledged!

-Grammar. I don't mind missing the apostrophes or comma's. But I can't stand the "U" or "cause" or "2". Seriously type everything out.

-Boys who text me from a different phone hoping I will write back because I didn't respond to the texts from their phone number they originally gave me. This will NOT help your case for wanting me to respond. Seriously.

The Invisible Asshole - drafted 10/03/09 @ 9:32AM
I slept like poo. Maybe it was the Xanax. Or the Ambien. Or the Alcohol. LOL. Falling asleep wasn't a problem, obviously. It was my dreams or something that I don't even know the name of since it happened when I was awake, it couldn't have been a dream. So I wake up, and I feel like someone is holding me. Down. HOLDING ME DOWN. I couldn't move. I think I tried to yell for help, I think, but I don't remember. I'll ask Holli when she wakes up. But she wouldn't have heard me since she sleeps like a rock under another pile of rocks. I do remember it feeling awful though. I just wanted to get up and get a drink I was soo thirsty! But some invisible asshole was holding me down!

Untitled - drafted 10/04/09 @ 4:00AM
Wow. It's after 4AM and I'm not sleeping because 1: I didn't take my sleeping pill 2: I have nothing to be awake for at a decent hour tomorrow and 3: I'm cleaning out my life. Seriously. Each and every aspect of it. And let me just say, right now, in this very moment, I feel fanfuckingtastic! I'm high but I'm grounded. I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed. I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby. I'm terrified, but in control. I'm able to take on all of the trials that are currently laying in the road ahead of me. Watch out world, because seriously there is a new me on the horizon and she's going to be a bitch on wheels.

Let me explain. In the last 3 weeks in particular I have been dealt one life changing disaster after another. I lost my job (on my fucking birthday!), was diagnosed with 2 different types of diseases (Meniere's and a Thyroid condition), came into contact with a long time friend that was at one point in time very close to my heart, have severed ties with someone that should have happened long ago, and determined that they are non-repairable. And this is just the last three weeks, friends! This doesn't even include the previous 10 months of this year. Let's not forget the 8 months of chronic migraines, the 6 root canals, the dislocated shoulder, the passing out, fluid in the ears, 4 (oh wait make that 5 now) rounds of steroids, 30 additional lbs due to the prednisone and thyroid issue, and my chronic insomnia. Oh and that's just me. Don't forget about my family's trials. Tough stuff girls and boys. And I feel for those going through similar or worse trials in their own lives.

Life is so damn hard. But I've decided to take it on with a new perspective. Honesty and courage. Not that I have been dishonest in the past, I've just been reserved. I was reserved with my feelings towards my relationships with guys, co-workers, family, etc. I would do blog posts with half truths, tell the situation, but not how I REALLY felt. I would put on the face that everything is fine, and I was dealing, but inside I was going crazy with extreme trials of anxiety, confusion, heartache and pain. Not anymore. I'm finished holding in these things for the sake of others. My sanity is immediately taking a leap into first place on my list of priorities. For the first time in my life, I am going to worry only about me and what I want. Too many times I have put myself out there to be supportive and the backbone for others only to be shit all over and heartbroken. In the words of Linkin Park, "Today this ends". So, that having been said, I'm going to start with more honesty on MY blog. No more holding back on things I'm feeling for the sake of those reading it. I may loose a few readers because of it, and I'm okay with that. My blog is an incredible outlet, and I am going to take full advantage.

Before I was reserved because I knew over 50% of my old co-workers (including my former boss) read it. My reservations are no more. If you get offended by what I am feeling or the words I use to describe it, stop reading. I don't care. My blog is for my own sanity and I'll say what I want.

I want to surround myself with good people. Good people by my standards, not those that are set by the society and community I live in.

That was as far as I got in that final post, but I still feel the same way today. I'm going to be the same me, just with less reservations-they only held me down inside. All my closets are sparkly clean and I'm ready for whatever lies ahead. Hello world.

Things That Must Go: Food Edition

So, I have this other blog and it has got me thinking a lot more about food, cooking, eating and such lately. It has also got me thinking of things that totally bug involving food, cooking, eating, and such. So here's my List of Things That Must Go: Food Edition. Enjoy! 

• The white gunk around an orange after you've peeled it
• The fork at my parents house with the one prong that is slightly bent, I always get that fork somehow!
• When "my spoon" is dirty. Yes, I have a favorite spoon. It lives at my parents.
• When a couple eat at restaurant and they sit right next to each other and snuggle. Annoying! Take your hands off each other for 5 minutes and eat your food. If you really enjoy the eat and snuggle that much, get a hotel and order room service. Please spare the rest of us.
• Raisins. I just don't like them.
• My can opener. It is like ancient and takes me forever to open a can. You have to hold it at just the right angle otherwise it won't work. Yeah, time for a new one. 
• When you are cutting something like a steak for example and the knive scratches the plate. AH. It's like nails on a chalk board. I can't handle it. 
• Margarine. Seriously, why would you use that when you can have real butter? 
• When you forget about the ice cream you were thawing on the counter for so long it got too melty, so you put it back in the freezer and then you have refrozen the melty part. It tastes funny.

And I'm not all negative nancy so here is my list of things that must stay-

• My parents making dinner every night and allowing me to mooch :) Love you Mom & Dad!
• Going over to my parents, opening the fridge, and finding a nice cold Coke. Mmm.
• Chocolate Oranges year round
• Cadbury Mini-Eggs for each holiday!
• Fiji Water

Random Rhonda

So everything in this post is totally random FYI. I started out last weekend wanting to paint my spare bedroom/office...my spoffice...haha new word! (I told you this would be a random post). Somehow that morphed (who says morphed?) into redoing my bedroom. Here are the before and afters. My camera is broken so I had to use my iPhone camera, which doesn't produce high quality photos. Obviously. But I promise it's really cute and I love it. I got a new duvet, new curtains, and some new shelves (which is actually a towel rack for a bathroom, but I think they really work).

Before

Before

 (I don't know why it's all yellowy. My walls are white. Notice the two bright spots on the window where the blinds are broken. White trash. Nice.)

After


After

Today is my Mom's birthday! YAY! Happy birthday Mom!! I love you! Read her blog because it's cool. And read the birthday post Holli did for her because it's funny.
I hope my Mom has an awesome birthday!

Additions to the Things That Must Go List-

1. When they make movies out of books and then reprint the books and the movie characters are the artwork on the book cover i.e Twilight. This bugs!
   
2. Buying curtains at Target, realizing they don't attach with loops, returning them to Target, figuring out a way to make them work, and then leaving after purchasing the exact same curtains you just returned.
3. My crappy shoulder
   
4. The movie Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. This movie sucked and we left after an hour.
5. The claustrophobic-y feeling turtlenecks give me.
6. Wearing heels to IKEA.
7. Static - on the radio, on my clothes, it all must go.

As mentioned above, I've messed up my shoulder again somehow. The worst is changing the gears in my car, so I've been shifting with my left hand instead of my right. Ha, I look like a moron doing it, but whatever, my shoulder hurts. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. If I end up needing to have surgery on it again, I might jump off a bridge. Seriously. And Holli said she won't help me do my hair when I'm in a sling so I would have to rock the 80's side pony tail. HOT.

Madi and Brady moved to California last week and I miss them! And they took Coors. I miss him. Which means I want a puppy again. A dauchtson to be exact. Actually I want two. With big fat bellies! So big they drag on the ground. :) Marley is too big for me to pick up and cuddle. Maybe I just need a baby. HAHA! NOT! I need a puppy.

I'm going to redo my blog. I hate the blue and I'm thinking of going back to the white. I just need a new picture for the top.

Twilight comes out in 19 days!! I'm so excited I could pee my pants! I tried to buy tickets for the midnight showing, but Fandango wouldn't let me. I'm not sure if that is because they are already sold out, or Fandango hates me. Boo.

Lastly, tomorrow is election day! Everyone vote!

Things that must go...again

A few more things that need to go-

• Taxes
• Headaches
• People who drive diesel trucks and leave them running while in the drive through lane at the bank or at fast food places. They are TOO loud. No one can hear the tellers talking!
• Winter
• Waking up in the middle of the night because it's too hot
• The knitting book that did not teach me how to knit
• The water/liquid that's been in my ear since October and I've been to the doctor for it at least 3 times
• The lady at Target who bought her kid a pair of shoes and then proceeded to put them on her shoe-less child right in the middle of the check stand isle. Um...hello, the 4 people in line behind you would like to buy their stuff and leave the store..MOVE.
• On the same note, all the women who like to put their wallets and purses all back in order at the check stand after they have completed their transactions..Keep the line moving girls!
• The stupid groundhog that didn't see his shadow.
• People who put 3 different bumper stickers on their cars supporting a political candidate. WE GET IT. You support Mitt Romney. One sticker would have been more than enough.
• Bumper stickers

The last time I did this list there were a few people who thought I was being Negative-Ned. So, I'm adding a list of things that must stay this time.

Things that must stay-

• My Grey's Anatomy valentine's - if you are a fellow Grey's addict, I will send you one, because only you would truly appreciate them. Ha.
• My new green purse
• Chris
• Dove Promises
• Wii - I dominate Tiger Woods Golf...basically I AM Tiger.
• Netflix
• Tanning beds
• Shutterfly
• My Family
• The heater in my Jeep
• The camera on my phone. It's ONLY good feature btw.

Things that must go..

Okay, the morning show I listen to, Radio from Hell on X96, does a weekly thing where Kerry, Bill, and Gina (the hosts) give a few things that they've seen or experienced in the last week that they can't stand. Things that bug them or drive them crazy. Things that must go. It's one of my favorite portions of the show and I tune in for it almost every Wednesday at 8am. Every other week they read listeners things that must go, those are usually pretty good too. Anyway, here is the start of my own list of things that must go. Feel free to add to it in the comments section!

• "God loves you" emails that tell me I'm going to burn in hell if I don't forward it to 10 people
• Q-tips where the cotton is soo tight that it feels like you're cleaning your ear with a piece of wood
  
• The gas pump that stops pumping when you try to put down the "auto-pump" thingy and you have to stand out in the freezing cold and manually pump the gas
• The Golden Corral a.k.a The Golden Troff
• Parents who let their children kick and scream at the top of their lungs in stores and don't do a single thing to calm them down
• The Walgreen's pharmacy on 8th North in Orem
• The lady who sat in front of me at TSO with her HUGE hair
• People who hum or whistle while standing in checkout lines
• When you pull a tissue out of the tissue box and it rips in half
• People who come in my office when they can clearly see I am on the phone and proceed to talk to me..hello! I'm on the phone!
• The smell of office/work kitchens. They just always reak
• InstaCare facilities that have a "no narcotics" rule when it comes to treating migraine headaches. I didn't come for a lolly pop doc!
• The license plate N8DAWG..seriously?